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The Emotional Disturbance.

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[03 Sep 2007|02:54am]
For the first time since I stopped writing in here, things really feel different.

And good. And it's 3:00am but I had to say it now.
the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

meaningful meaninglessness. [17 Aug 2005|06:12pm]
[ mood | curious ]

I think my urge to move is inspired by everyone elses. And I think that we all want to move because we're tired of the norm. It's as clear as day that this town has nothing to offer, let alone nothing to do. When it comes down to it, we suck up our daily routine and make the best of our time together, weather it's by eating at the same restaurant every over night at 10:30, baking something or taking pictures in an empty feild. We find a way to make it a moment. But I've come to find that in the back of everyone's mind, as much as we love eachother and don't mind the daily rut (or even lack there of), we're all dreaming of someplace different. I can't really determine if it's normal, or if we're really all missing something being here...but it's good to know I'm not the only one with dreams of other places, and other faces. It just makes me kind of sad either way to know that no matter which you chose - to stay or go, the process of growing up and changes are involved. Late night talks on the beach about baby names, having a food fight between you and the car next to you and shows are just so simple and meaningless in the moment. Until you look back. You can't help but toss around the feeling of being satisfied, and being unsatisfied. Maybe this isn't just about Fort Myers. Maybe it's a state of mind. Either way, it's scary. The best things in life have this...simplicity about them that's just hard to step away from.

1 fainted heart| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

[15 Aug 2005|12:58am]

sleeplessness.Collapse )

2 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

[20 Nov 2004|03:00am]
i found livejournal!!U!GYU(GYUt\

okay that kate.

who is very drunk.

WHO is very drunk? whos drunk? NOT ME!!

kate pissed herslef. and she robbed mr, walton sam. sam walton!!!

i gotta beeee i gottaa pee/

"thats my shirt! i wore it earlier when i robbed the wal mart!"

walllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

why is everything so funny right now? BOOHBAH! SO FUCKIGN FUNNKL CHECK MY K TO THE ROCH.

KATE KNREEDS MORE ALCHCOHAOJLD. ALCHAHAHAHAHAL. AL-KA-HALL.

"check my crotch, i pissed!"
I DIDNT SAY THAT YOU BUITCH!
"dont quote me!"
Im gonna punch you kate.

oajty uive had nmy epgobe gere,

that sis sooo ful of ypers. typos
i cant see the ecsnreem

what does thsi say!?
6 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

someone commented on my journal and said i look like lindsay lohan in my icon. [17 Nov 2004|10:49am]

and this is what we've been up toCollapse )

8 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

it would be quite interesting to be fired from BOTH Mart's. [13 Nov 2004|07:49pm]
So I wake up this morning, and I can't feel my face, due to that stupid reoccuring sinus infection, and I take an Advil cold and sinus pill - NON DROUSY. Then when I left for work a few hours later, just to make sure I wasn't feeling terrible all damn day, I took 2 more. Well, they kicked in when I got there, and everything just felt like it was happening really fast, and like I was being really slow. It felt kind of nice, LOL...My face didn't hurt, so whatever. But this caused me to totally not pay attention to a CSM who was trying to tell me about a lady trying to steal a purse coming to my register.

"Bob and Lisa" somehow stand for looking in purses and coolers people buy, and looking under the basket for stuff people forget to put up on the belt. So a CSM comes over to me and says, "Hey Mandah, have you seen BOB AND LISA today?"

I completely drew a blank.

I was like, "Bob and Lisa?? I don't know Bob, or Lisa."
"Mandah, you know...LISA...and Bob??"
"I have no idea who you're talking about..."
"BOB AND LISA?!"
"Bob in the bakery?? No..OHH!!!!! BOB AND LISA!!! Yeah...Oh..wow...I did see them earlier.."

And she walks away.

I look under the basket, and I see nothing. And I don't see any purses on the belt, or anything to look through. So I thought maybe that was a sign to look through all the clothes they were buying, because peopel sometimes stick stuff in clothes. I didn't see a thing. It made me wonder why she said that, so I looked at one of the ladies purses, but it looked as if it was her's because there was a bunch of junk sticking out of it. Stuff I see all the time, you know?

Suddenly I notice a few CSM's and security near my register. I pay no mind, because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be searching for consider there was no Bob or Lisa to look for...

An hour later, I get called the back room, because "Manager Chris wants to speak with you in the office."

Whhhattt the fuck.

So he asked me to tell me what I thought of that situation, and I honestly didn't know what to think because I wasn't sure what I was looking for. He told me the first woman put a purse she was buying on the belt when she saw security coming. But when security walked away, she put it on her shoulder to steal, and somehow I am responsible for that because Sherri told me to look, and the lady stole the purse in front of my eyes. I don't recall seeing a new purse...or seeing one on the belt...but he told me to keep my eyes open because people will scam us on a MINUTE-TO-MINUTE basis now that Christmas is here. Then he asked me how I felt about the situation, and I sort of shrugged and gave a confused face...because I mean, what am I supposed to say? It wasn't intentional, I should have been more informed. Then he tells me, "So you don't care? This is going to happen all the time and you just don't care, do you? Why are you shrugging? This is serious." THAT, pissed me off.
"Uh, no actually I don't appreciate you telling me that I don't care, because that wasn't what I said. I don't know what you WANT me to say. I mean, I know to look out of stuff like that, I've been cashiering for a while and I know to look for these things. I got screwed over by theives in my other job, it's not going to happen here. I'm sorry, and it's not like I KNEW what they were doing and let them, but I don't know what you really want me to say."

He said consider that my warning. What a fuck. I didn't get written up or anything, but I guess if I don't "snap out of it and pay attention" I will.

Then I go back to the podium, and I have a nice pink slip waiting for me. Pink slips are not good. Apparently my drawer was short 9.77. Three pink slips means you're fired.

I already have one.

So yeah, today has been fucking horrible at Wal-Mart, and it's time for me to go back now.
But they can fuck off, because I have my own apartment, and I'm moving tomarrow, and I'm going to have an amazing time Heather, and I won't see their faces for three whole days!

Rock it, bitch.
1 fainted heart| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

I'm okay now, I'm okay. [13 Nov 2004|02:46pm]
[ mood | blissful ]

This is how she feels today.

And this is how she'll feel tomarrow.

And every day after.

 

And she knows it.

6 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

::sneezes:: What a wonderful time to be sick. [13 Nov 2004|02:42am]
[ mood | sick ]

I heard this song tonight on the 99X Cage Match and I found it very amusing. This song was up against Coheed and Cambria, "Blood Red Summer." I'm not sure how I feel about this song, but as bad as some parts were (and the sound was), they did make some interesting points. The song was more like a speech, but it was just so...strange.

Lazy Boy, "Underwear Go Inside the Pants"

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural 
plant that grows in the dirt. You know whats not natural? Eighty year 
old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural, but we've got pills for that. 
We're dedicating all our medical ressources to keeping the old guys
erect but were putting people in jail for smoking something that grows 
in the dirt? 

You know, we have more prescription drugs now than ever. Every
commercial on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four 
minutes without thinking i have five serious diseases. Like, "Do you 
ever wake up tired in the mornings?" Oh my god, I have this, write 
this down! Whatever this is, I have it! Half the time you dont even 
know what the commercial is, there's people running through fields, 
or flying kites, or swimming in the ocean. Like, that is the greatest 
disease ever! How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot 
chick and a puppy! 

The schools now, it's all about self-esteem in the schools. Build the 
kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If
everybody grows up with high self esteem, whos gonna dance in our 
strip clubs? Whats gonna happen to our porno industry? These women 
don't just grow on trees! It takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot of
dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty
bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a friday 
with my new high speed connection...

Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)
Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)

Mastermind's not a word that comes up all the time, you keep hearing
about these, ah, these masterminds that are being killed over in the 
middle-east. Terrorist masterminds! Mastermind is sort of a lofty way
to describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're not
masterminds! "Okay you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack, 
then you get on the bus and you blow yourself up." "Why do I have 
to... blow myself up?" "Whos the F---ing mastermind her, me or you?!"

Americans, let's face it, we've been a spoiled country for a long time, 
you know what the number one health risk in america is? Obesity! 
Obesity! They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An 
epidemic! Like it's Polio! Like, we'll be talking to our grandchildren 
about it one day, the great obesity epidemic of 2004. "How d'you get 
through it, grandpa?" "Oh, it was horrible, Johnny, there was 
cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why we're getting fatter, look at our lifestyles. I'll sit at 
a drive-thru, I'll sit there for, I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars 
instead of getting up and making an eight foot walk to the totally 
empty counter. Everything's mega-mealed and super-sized, "Want 
biggie fries with that, want a jumbo-fry, wanna go large, want a 
biggie fry, wanna have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat 
mother-f-----? There's room in the back, take it! Want a fifty-five 
gallon drum of coke with that? It's only three more cents!"

Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)
Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)

Sometimes you've gotta suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to 
succeed later in life. You think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do 
you think there'd be a microsoft? Of course not! You've got to spend a 
long time stuffed in your locker with your underwear wedged up your 
ass before you start thinking: "Im gonna take over the world of 
computers, you'll see! I'll show them!"

We're in one of the richest coutries in the world and the minimum 
wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago. There are 
homeless people everywhere, this homeless guy asked me for money,
the other day, I was about to give it to him, and I thought: he's just 
gonna use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought: That's what I'm 
gonna use it on! Why am I judging this poor bastard? People love to 
judge homeless guys. Like, you give him the money and he's just 
gonna waste it, he's gonna waste the money! Well he lives in a box! 
What do you want him to do with it, save it up and buy a wall unit? 
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a cd rack? He's 
homeless! I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy 
asked him for money, he looks right at the homeless guy, he goes:
"why don't you go out and get a job, you bum?"

People always say that to homeless guys, get a job. Like it's always 
that easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his 
pants. I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date. I'm predicting 
some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure 
McDonalds has an 'Underwear go inside the pants' policy Not that they 
enforce it very strictly, but technically, i'm sure it's on the books.

Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(come on now sing)
Baby, Sing sing sing... Sing your song... Sing for me...(sing sing sing...)
 I soooo don't know how I feel about that song...but click this blue link with the shitty caption now, you know you want to.Collapse )
6 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

Walking with Jesus; A Post for the Public. [11 Nov 2004|12:52am]
[ mood | Holy. ]

Jesus is my homeboy.Collapse )

18 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

Viva la Kerry, bitch. [02 Nov 2004|11:24pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I asked a shopper today how long it took her to vote, because she had the sticker on her shirt. She said it only took her 20 minutes, and then she asked if I voted as well. I said I did earlier this week.
"Just out of curiosity, who did you vote for, if you don't mind me asking?" she said. So I said John Kerry.
She then told me, "The younger the voter, the more ignorant - therefore I don't think they have business voting. I voted for George Bush." I asked her if she thought my choice was ignorant - seeing as I am a good 40 years younger than her. She said she doesn't know me to call me ignorant, but I made a very ignorant choice. I wanted to spit in her face. She then continued to ramble on about how starting a war in another country was the best thing we could have done to protect our country from terrorism. I tried my hardest not to call her a FUCKING idiot.

People like that make this the election of war and peace. Or shall I say, war vs. peace. Bush is war, and Kerry is peace. The majority of people over 40 - according to CNN - voted Bush, whereas majority under 40 voted Kerry. It's also been said that 73% of veterans support Bush. So therefore, according to this woman, everyone under 40 shouldn't vote, because they are not veterans, so they don't understand why everyone "should" vote for Bush.

I don't have direct reasons as to why I voted for John Kerry. I don't know what he promised, and I sure as hell probably wouldn't believe him because no president ever keeps their promises. I don't know much about his background, or who he is as a person. I don't even know much about what he believes in. But no one, will tell me I shouldn't have voted, and that I am young and ignorant, just because I didn't vote for Bush. The ignorant one here would be this woman, because the purpose of voting is because people have different views. Today wouldn't have existed if we all believed what she believed. What's the point in election day, when all the "intellegent" people are picking Bush? Fuck you. Seriously. I voted for John Kerry because there is a lot about Bush that I don't approve of. There's going to be pro's and con's to either president, so the way I see it is why not see what someone else could do for this country, since I don't like what Bush is doing.


And those "Vote or Die" shirts have to be the lamest things I've ever seen. What are those supposed to mean exactly? I know lot's of people who didn't vote because they couldn't decide who to vote for, or they don't follow politics, so they couldn't chose either. Does that make those people any less of a person for not voting? Vote or die? Hah!

Puff Daddy, you are an asshole.

4 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

following the trend, and protecting the innocent...haha [26 Oct 2004|01:58am]
[ mood | devious ]

Comment to be added, if not already.

2 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

slow motion fo' meh. [25 Oct 2004|02:53pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

The beach was wonderful today, just like I had imagined. There were a million people there though. And then I remembered, it's snow bird season. Haha. Fuckasses. I talked to Heather the entire time at the beach. LOL, Pretty interesting conversations. It was nice. We are going to have a blast moving together.
Me: "Well, no one will probably want to marry me. So you can help me move, and buy me things...LOL And when you get married, I'll help with the wedding and buy you stuff!"
Her: "Girl, don't make me kick your butt! You're gettin' married."
She's so country, LOL. We are so different. But I guess you can't help but love someone you've known through those lovely years of growing up. Haha. Damn, sixth grade was so long ago.

Anyhoo. I guess that's it. I'm gonna get dressed now, and do the make-up thing. And then call up Grand Master Kate. See if she can hang before the show.

P.S. I can't believe Nicoley invited that weird myspace guy to the show. If he's anything like he describes himself, I'll have to question our future sisterhood.

Hahah, JK. LOL Arlight.
It's time to do the girl thing now.

2 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

3 weeks and 1 day. lonely, but still counting. [25 Oct 2004|03:39am]
[ mood | lonely ]

As excited as I am about moving out, it's weird at the same time...knowing that I'll be living by myself. I won't live with my parents, as a "family" ever again. The next family I'll live with, will be my own. It's crazy. I wish I could remember the last night in my house where we were all there and everything was okay...before all the craziness started. It's weird how much we take for granted. I was thinking...and it's strange how much I feel like it was just yesterday me and my sister were jumping on the trampoline after dinner. And my mom was calling us inside. We'd fight over who was going to shower first, because someone always used all the hot water...LOL Then from our rooms, we'd be watching the same thing on T.V. and laughing, and my mom would hear us from her room and come watch it with us. That was a time when things were good, and I didn't even realize it. Then I woke up one day to a life that wasn't mine. And it stayed that way for a very long time. I've been by myself in this apartment since my mom started talking to my dad. Today will be 2 weeks. I guess it took me 2 weeks to realize that I don't like the fact that no one's arguing, or laughing. It's just me. And it's quiet. And that's how it's going to be. It's going to be very lonely, and I keep telling myself that. The part that's making me happy though, and keeping me content is that I get to be independent and at peace with where my life is, aside from where it is now...and where it's been. I KNOW it's better. It's the only thing I've ever known. But I guess tonight I'm a little lonely.

Me going back to that house would be a step backward for me. Everything I've moved past would be rahashed for me, everything I'm used to, I'd have to change...and to top the cake, I'd still be unsatisfied with where I was in life: Working at Wal-Mart, only now living with both of my parents. It's not a BAD thing, but it's just not what I wanted for myself. Getting an apartment is a step I need to take for myself, so that I could eventually get out of here.

It's funny how changes, change your thoughts. I've found the routine creates time for me to dwell. And I've noticed that he hasn't been on my mind nearly half as much these days. And I'm glad. Because it's about time I start to put that petty excuse for a relationship behind me. No doubt I'll never forget, but it's nice to not have time to be reminded as much anymore.

Changes don't scare me anymore. It's not my biggest fear. I'm starting to appreciate change, because it's finally coming in handy for me. Instead of confusing me and stressing me out, it's helping me grow.

And let me tell you, it's about time for me to leave this state of mind, behind.

2 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

[25 Oct 2004|12:21am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I had such a good day today. I working weekends, anticipating a Monday off - but it's worth it in the end. I am done, and tomarrow I am off. And it's a very nice feeling. Tonight at work me and Andy and Christine were cleaning the GM side, and we got into this huge conversation about states and capitals, and it was hilarious. Andy's laugh is contagious, so even if it wasn't funny I couldn't stop laughing...None of us new the capitals, and CSM heard our conversation and brought over an atlas, LOL. It was hilairious. My stomach hurts from laughing...Ahhh. But that little educational experience and shown me why I work in Wal-Mart and I'm not in college, haha.
Tomarrow I'm going to go to the beach. I'm really excited about that, haha. Then I am going downtown to some thrift stores to find cool apartment shit. <3 Oh, I bought Josh three 16X20 canvas' tonight so he can paint me a little series to hang on my wall. I'm excited. I love Josh. <3 And then tomarrow night there is going to be an amazing show at Rising Tide.
Life is good good good. I feel so fucking content I don't know what to do with myself.

I think I'm going to do some cleaning now though...like, some throwing away..haha, of shit I do not want to bring to my apartment. And want to sell possibly.

*If someone can buy me a blender, that would be really sweet. I told my mom I wanted one, and she asked me what for. I said to make mixed drinks, hello?! And she said no way in hell will I become an alcoholic when I move out.

Hell, Kate already thinks I'm drunk.

;)

1 fainted heart| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

over and out, do you copy? [24 Oct 2004|01:01pm]
[ mood | content ]

It's going to be a good week. Tomarrow I am off, and the weather here is amazing for the beach. You can get sun, without drying out and burning. I just wish I had someone to go with. So I guess I am going to the beach tomarrow. And then later on I'm going to the show with Kate and her sweet spot, haha. I should be called back about the interview for the eye place sometime this week...Tuesday I can see my apartment, but I work so I have to go on Thursday - which is the same day I'll be voting, for the first time ever. And then Kristen's back this weekend, and Halloween is on Sunday. I think due to my funds, I'm not going to be dressing up. I'll wear an old sheet or something, haha. And then October is O.V.E.R. and it's T minus 2 weeks and 1 day until I move in, and see Heather.

Oh dear. Why is everything so good?

1 fainted heart| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

a HIGHLY unlikely situation. but it still baffles me... [24 Oct 2004|01:45am]
[ mood | flirty ]

Dear You Know Who You Are,

You should mind your own business and stop reading this.

P.S. Why are you so pathetic?

the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

[24 Oct 2004|12:46am]
[ mood | artistic ]

I just made a Hellogoodbye hoodie, because I am awesome.

"I might feel just like you."


Now, if only it would get cold outside...




<3

the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

I owe 32.09 on Nov.6th, or they put back the shit on layaway. [23 Oct 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | excited ]

So the "apartment browsing" went alright today. Just as I thought: bickering and bunking heads about everything. Untill I finally said, "MOM, It's MY apartment. It doesn't matter if YOU like it." It makes me think about if we were on a show like, "For Better or for Worse" - where your family and friends plan your wedding. I know the wedding would be beautiful, because it's my mom, hello...but it SO wouldn't be my taste at all. I told her I liked that kind of...bistro look for the kitchen, with the cool artsy martini paintings, and stuff...and she picks out all this shit with chef's on it, I'm like, "Mom, no. Put that down." It was kind of annoying. I had my heart set on this beach theme bathroom set K-Mart had, and all she did was bitch about how the curtain was cheap. And then she told me no way am I getting new everything - and not getting a new comforter (because for some reason she's always hated mine). So I pick out the one I like, and she tells me it's ugly. I said the hell with her, and I put everything I WANTED on layaway. Which would be the bathroom and bedding set. So my room and bathroom are complete. Now I just need furniture, but nothing I picked out matches. Wood coffee table, black t.v. stand, metal/wood end tables...LOL I guess I'll see what the place can even fit when I go see it on Thursday. This is exciting. And I'm looking foward to having Heather help me move in. <3 It's going to be nice. God, why is everything so perfect right now? [Because something terrible is about to happen, most likely. Ain't that the way this life usually goes? Haha.]
Doot doot doot. Life is good. Oh, and everyone who keeps asking me what I need for the apartment, ummm...LOL, You don't have to get me anything. I have most of the stuff I "need" - but if you must, you know I love everything. Get me something to remind me how much I love you, haha.

Okay. Back to work.

2 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

happiness goes on. [23 Oct 2004|12:19am]
[ mood | content ]

Today:
-I got approved for my apartment!
-I deposited my check, and I'm very proud of myself because of the money I deposited two weeks ago (280 dollars) I only touched 40 of it, and that was for gas. I now have 750 dollars in my bank account, and I've got 2 more pay checks before my first rent is due.
-My mom got her income tax check in the mail, for 800 dollars. She is giving it to me. And in 3 months she gets the 800 dollar deposit back for these apartments. She is giving me that too.
-My interview was canceled due to the lady who interviews having to go out of town, but it will be next week.
-Tom Jones suggested for the fourth time that was start dating. LOL, Oh dear.
-I called Heather, and she's coming down Nov.14 and staying until Nov.17th. <3333

I feel really positive...for the first time in a verrrrry long time. Everything seems to be going well for me. In every area. I'm beginning to feel a lot more intellegent, and independent. There's things money-wise that are stressful, but I'm not scared. I feel smarter, because I'm becoming independent. There's things that I'm learning, and doing on my own, that I've always worried I wouldn't understand. But I'm understanding more and more of the things I sign, haha...and everything is good. I don't feel confused about any of my choices, or nervous even. Something's telling me that everything is over for me finally...the hard part, the crying, the memories... I think they're all starting to disapear. I never thought the stuff with my parents was "a bump in the road." I really
thought it was done with...But it's safe to say the bad times are over. I'm moving on. I'm starting my life, in a way I never imagined...I always thought college would be first, but maybe it's not for a reason.
I'm proud that I got the apartment. I'm excited, and eager to move in, and all of that...but I'm more proud. Because going was MY choice, and for the first time ever - I know it's a right one.

My choices... My life... My independence...



Coming soon.

:)

the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

So many choices... [21 Oct 2004|11:22am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Well, Florida Eye Health just called me, and I applied yesterday, haha. I have an interview at 12:00 tomarrow. They told me yesterday they were looking for someone from 8-5, Monday through Friday. I was looking at the job for a SECOND job...and I have to be at Wal-Mart by 5, so I had asked them if there was anyway if I got it, that I could leave at 4. She made a note on the application, and said she'd call me. Okay. So then after driving around, I figured an eye care center HAS to pay better than Wal-Mart...and I decided that if I got that job, with the condition that they pay better, I'd just quit Wal-Mart and work there full time. That way I'm not over worked to keep the apartment, and underpaid, with no time to do anything. Not working in Wal-Mart would make my gas go down about 35 dollars a month, and I wouldn't have +40 dollars in tolls every month. That's about 75 dollars saved, and hopefull if I could make even a litttttle bit more than 7.30, about 75 dollars more earned. But again. This all depends on this fucking apartment...which is really stressing me out... I just called and the lady said they are really busy, and that she can check my file at 1 - which is when I go into work today - or she can call me tomarrow. Dammit. I want to know NOW.
Wow. Today is also pay day. The first of many pay days that I will no longer anticipate, because all the money is getting hoarded into SAVINGS for bills.

And this is growing up.

8 fainted hearts| the sin that shapes your voice carries my ears this new disease

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